My Tribe of Women – And the Gifts of Showing Up

This past month, I’ve been reflecting on something powerful: my tribe.

It started in August, right after we celebrated my mom’s life one year after her passing. I felt a shift — almost like her spirit was nudging me to reconnect, to show up, to be with the women who make me feel most alive.

And so I did.

I said yes.

I said yes to comedy with my Hula sisters — laughing until my sides hurt, then dancing like I hadn’t in years.

I said yes to Las Vegas with Kathy, my lifelong friend since 1983, to celebrate her 70th birthday. We’ve shared decades of memories, and we keep adding more — like our annual Mariners game tradition, still going strong after 20+ years.

I said yes to breakfast with my Hula sisters, sharing stories and tears, holding space for each other the way only women can.

I said yes to a spontaneous Wednesday 2 hour drive to the coast, meeting a dear friend and her dad on their bucket list road trip. We caught the sunset together, and as I stood there I thought: The best memories are made in the moments we almost talk ourselves out of.

I said yes to a weekend with a childhood friend and her adult children — hula, wine, food, and a reminder of culture, family, and connection.

I said yes to peace with my brother and dad.

I said yes to a Labor Day weekend celebrating a longtime work friend's 60th birthday with a beautiful group of women from different parts of her life — no judgment, just sharing stories, laughter, and presence.

And in each of these yeses, I realized something: this is what resilience looks like. This is what authentic living feels like.

A Tribe That Holds You

My tribe stretches far — New York, New Hampshire, California, Washington, Texas, Las Vegas, Hawaii, Oregon and even across "the pond". Some I see often, others I only text. But no matter where they are, they’re mine. And I am theirs.

These women remind me who I am when I forget. They remind me that love isn’t about draining yourself, it’s about showing up. Not perfectly. Not endlessly. But honestly.

A Lesson With Calm 

Even my niece reminded me of this. For her 25th birthday, I promised to help her fly to Florida to see her best friend. By the time she checked back, the flights had quadrupled in price. My stomach dropped — I wanted to keep my promise, but the numbers didn’t make sense.

So she and I sat together on the phone, searching. For over an hour. Laughing, visiting, trying again and again. Finally, we found a flight. And when I went to book it, I discovered I had an airline credit that covered most of the cost.

It felt like a wink from the universe.

I whispered, Thank you, Mom.
She whispered back, Yes. Thank you, Nana.

We both smiled. And in that moment, we knew — the spirits of those who’ve gone before us are still with us.

Living Real Aloha

This month of yeses, this tribe of women, these small miracles — they’ve reminded me of what Living Real Aloha really means.

It’s not about DNA. It’s not about performing or sacrificing endlessly. It’s about connection. Presence. Love that sustains.

And when you show up — really show up — for your tribe, your family, your friends, and for yourself… you realize the truth:

The best memories, the real healing, the most authentic living — it happens in the moments you almost talk yourself out of.